You Might Be Sexually Repressed If…

Are You Sexually Repressed?

“You might be sexually repressed if you clutch your pearls every time you say the word clitoris.”

Your Sexual Shame Is Not a Personality Trait

Somewhere between that weird health class with that banana demonstration (if you even got to experience that) and the time someone called you “fast” for wearing lip gloss at 13, you picked up a little souvenir called shame.

Congratulations! You didn’t ask for it. But here it is, blocking your blessings like a jealous frenemy.

The wild part? Most of us don’t even realize it’s happening because shame has been embedded in our minds, consciously and unconsciously, for centuries through media, mis-education, and those misogynistic patriarchal ideologies I’m always talking about, intertwined with religion.

These shameful ideologies creep in and convince you that you’re just “not that into solo play,” or that you “don’t need to explore,” or that you’re “saving it for the right person.”

BUT BEAUTIFUL SOUL. THE RIGHT PERSON IS YOU!

I considered myself to be a very pleasure positive person. After all, how could I be a pleasure activist if I wasn’t keen on it as a concept?

I truly believed this, until I was sitting, reflecting the other day and realized that I was actively struggling to express intimacy and my desires for it comfortably. 

The even stranger part about this, was that I was a naturally intimate person by nature. This meant by me fearing intimacy, I was fearing a major part of who I was.

I used my journal prompts to trace it back.

Although I wrote  to these prompts when I’d first created them, I love to use them in any situations I’m navigating sexually and target them to this specific instance because each time, the answers uncover something that’d been living deep within my psyche.

It’s kind of crazy how interconnected shame is. 

I like to use the analogy of a ball of yarn. Once you can find the end piece of the yarn, the things you discover during the unravel usually tend to lead to even more unraveling and even more discoveries. 

Shame isn’t exempt from the whole “healing is a lifelong journey” concept. Actually, it’s not a concept, it’s just a reality that I am constantly in denial of! I’m working on it but it’s a knowing that has actually brought me a lot of self compassion.

Instead of thinking of my shame as something to “tackle” I thought of it as something to soothe, heal & massage with new beliefs. I realized this is a lifelong journey that’s worth the rememberings. 

So sure, I’d found a way to remove shame when it came to a lot of different areas of my sexuality but this time it was time to uncover the shame I’d had surrounding intimacy that I’d been struggling with for at least a decade. 

This is why I speak about this topic quite a lot and why I wanna talk about something juicy, sacred, and long overdue: YOUR PLEASURE! (Yaaaaaaaayy!) And how you too may be repressing it (Boooooo!).

During this chat I need you to remember one important thing:

Sexual shame is sneakier than a toxic ex with a burner phone or an Apple Watch with a history he forgot to erase after cheating (I have a story about this on my podcast). Regardless of how sneaky and insidious your shame is, it’s important for us to remember society is ALWAYS creating new ways to make you feel bad about yourself.

That’s why it’s such a revolutionary act to feel and experience the complete opposite. 

Where Sexual Shame Shows Up

Sexual shame doesn’t just live in the bedroom, it pops up everywhere.It’s in the “I don’t touch myself because I’m pure” energy. It’s in your nervous giggle when someone says the word vulva out loud.It’s in your silence when your body is screaming YES or NO and your mouth says the opposite.

That’s shame. And it’s been subtly sabotaging your joy, your moments of potential intimacy, and that divine, glowing connection you deserve with yourself and others.

Here Are A Few Signs You Might Be Sexually Repressed

• Difficulty talking about sex – you feel shame, embarrassment, or you avoid sexual topics altogether.

• Low sexual desire – you feel disconnected from pleasure or notice a lack of interest in intimacy.

• Negative self-talk – you catch yourself thinking that sex is “dirty,” “bad,” or “wrong.”

• Disconnection from your body – you avoid self-touch, you’re unsure what feels good, or you feel numb during intimacy.

• Shame after self-pleasure or intimacy – you feel guilt, regret, or anxiety after sexual experiences.

• Reliance on external validation – you feel like you need a partner’s approval to feel attractive or desirable.

• Rigid cultural/religious conditioning – you feel bound by teachings that restrict, shame, or punish sexual expression.

• Difficulty achieving orgasm – you struggle to climax because of tension, guilt, or disconnection from your body.

• Suppressed sensuality – you avoid dancing, movement, or wearing clothing that feels sensual because you’re afraid of judgment.

• Emotional disconnection in relationships – you feel unable to voice your needs, desires, or boundaries around intimacy.

• Physical tension – you notice tightness in your pelvic floor, vaginal dryness, or pain during sex that isn’t purely medical.

• Fear of being judged – you worry about being seen as “too much” or “not enough” sexually.

The Tools To Help

Now that we’ve named the ways sexual suppression can show up, what if I told you I created a tool to help break down the shell of shame society placed upon us?

My Workbook: UNASHAMED: Dismantling Sexual Shame & Reclaiming Your Pleasure

This workbook isn’t your average sheet of boring checkboxes and empty affirmations. No, my love, this is a glow-up for your relationship with pleasure.

Inside, you’ll find:

• Deep (and beautiful) journal prompts that might make you laugh and cry in the same paragraph.

• Powerful exercises to help you uncover where shame lives in your body (spoiler: it’s not always the obvious places).

• Step-by-step healing practices that will have you lighting candles and moaning “Yessss” like you’re in a Whole Foods ad for oat milk.

• Guidance to reclaim your sensuality without guilt, fear, or whispering “self-pleasure” like it’s a curse word.

You Deserve to Feel UNASHAMED, My Lovely

I created The Ethereal Pleasure Oasis so that in your world, there is no more suffering in silence and no more dull, disconnected relationships with your body.

Before we can continue this pleasure movement, we must become: UNASHAMED.

So if your spirit is screaming “Yes! I’m ready!” and your inner child is nervously clutching her Lisa Frank diary, know this: you’re not alone. We’re doing this together, one delicious chapter at a time.

Grab your copy now at loveatiya.com.

Use code: SHAMEFREE for $22.22 OFF your workbook!

Wanna Go Deeper?

Dive into my Ethereal Pleasure Library for step-by-step pleasure tips, journal prompts, video courses, and an audio library designed to help you unlearn, unwind, and unleash your pleasure.

With love and vegan lube,

Xoxo, Love Atiya

Pleasure Educator | Founder of The Ethereal Pleasure Oasis