The Anatomy Of Your Vulva & Friends

The Anatomy Of Your Vulva & Friends

Hey beautiful souls.

It’s time we talk about OUR ANATOMY.

Important Note: Because I identify as a cis woman and am a vulva owner, I will be writing from the perspective of a vulva owner but it’s important to acknowledge that 1. Not everybody feels connected to the genitals they were assigned with at birth. 2. People who were born Intersex are beautiful people and they may have genitals that look a bit different from my vulva. 3. Vulvas are like snowflakes which mean that none of them look exactly alike.

As I continue my education, I’m excited to expand my knowledge on all kinds of people and their unique anatomy. This article will be focusing on those who relate to having a vulva.

If you would like a more indepth dive into anatomy I recommend checking out the book titled “Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life” by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., which provides an amazing complex look into how our anatomy came to be in the first place!

It’s Time To Meet Your Vulva

V is for vulva, but it’s also for vagina and that’s what you’ve probably been calling your vulva for years if you just so happened to be a part of the American educational system.

I was quite literally 26 years old when I learned that the actual name for the part of my body that I was calling my vagina was called a vulva. 

This article is going to be VERY simple although our anatomy is actually a quite complex system of magical innerworkings, I don’t want to overwhelm us, so we’ll just start by dipping our toes into the vulva pond. 

First, I want to introduce you to your Vulva and some of her parts.

After that, I’m going to introduce you to pieces of your brain that you didn’t know were in control of a lot that has to do with your pleasure.

And as you continue reading some more of my blogs and articles like the one regarding feet orgasms or the one that touches on nipple orgasms, you’ll see that our bodies are one complex pleasure making machine. 

Meeting Your Vulva (For Real This Time)

This may look overwhelming af but it’s actually quite simple once we get acquainted with all of our parts.

Your vulva is the external part of your genitals. Not just one thing but a whole damn system:

• Labia majora = the outer lips (they protect everything inside)

• Labia minora = the inner lips (these vary a lot from person to person)

• Clitoris = the pleasure center (and way bigger than you think)

• Clitoral hood = the protective covering over the clitoris (these all look different)

• Urethral opening = where urine exits (and squirting fluid comes out)

• Vaginal opening = the entrance to the vagina (where babies come out… if that’s your thing)

One of my FAVORITE facts that I’ve learned about the clitoris is:The clitoris is not just a small external point.

It’s actually a FULL internal structure that extends inside your body, wrapping around the vaginal canal. According to research from the Cleveland Clinic, the clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings and its only function is pleasure. (Note: The amount of nerves are up for debate, I’ve heard anywhere from 8,000 - 10,000… I’ve also heard some of these tests were done unconsensually on cows so there’s that horrific fact we have to deal with.)

I would also love to give a shoutout to the Transgender men (transmasculine individuals) who have undergone gender-affirming genital surgery, such as metoidioplasty or phalloplasty (which often includes vaginectomy) and have donated tissue, specifically clitoral nerve tissue and vaginal tissue, to scientific research. Thanks to you we now finally have an actual mapping of our vulva and that is BIG in the world of research.

In all honesty though, your pleasure goes beyond your vulva. Before we can get to the part of you that is in charge, I’d like for you to meet another wonderful part of your body.

Introducing Your Anus

And I’m not talking about the planet ba dum dum

Your anus is the external opening at the end of the digestive tract, and it plays a role not just in elimination, but also in sensation, control, and full-body awareness.

And just like the vulva, it’s part of a larger, connected system.

What’s Actually There?

The anus is made up of a few key parts:

• Internal sphincter = an involuntary muscle (you don’t consciously control it)

• External sphincter = a voluntary muscle (you can control this one)

• Anal canal = the short passage inside the body

• Perineum = the area between the vulva and the anus

These muscles are part of your pelvic floor, which supports your organs and plays a role in both stability and sensation.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, the anal region is rich in nerve endings, which is why it can be a highly sensitive area.

The Nervous System Connection

Just like the vulva, the anus is connected to your brain through the nervous system.

The pudendal nerve (the same nerve involved in clitoral sensation) also innervates the anal area. This means your brain is receiving and interpreting signals from this region in real time.

Research from the National Institutes of Health shows that the pelvic region, including the anus, is part of a broader sensory network, meaning stimulation here can activate areas of the brain associated with awareness and sensation.

Look, I know I said it would be a simple lesson, so please take this in doses but while writing this I couldn’t ignore how important it is to know about your ENTIRE pleasure system and not just your vulva. So if you feel like it’s hard to digest ALL of this information at once, I totally get it, because it is A LOT. Take it in doses, you’re doing amazing.

Now… back to the lesson!

The Pelvic Floor: The Bridge Between Everything

Your anus, vulva, and internal organs are all connected through the pelvic floor muscles.

Think of this area as a supportive hammock that:

• Holds your organs in place

• Helps with bladder and bowel control

• Contributes to sexual function and sensation

When these muscles are relaxed and functioning healthily, you may feel more connected, responsive, and at ease in your body and when they’re tense or disconnected, it can affect how you experience sensation overall.

Whole-Body Awareness

Understanding your anus isn’t about focusing on one isolated part of your body. It’s about recognizing how connected everything is.

Your breath, your muscles and your nervous system are all communicating. We don’t call them systems for no reason!

So as you continue learning your body, this is just another layer of awareness:

• Noticing sensation without judgment

• Understanding how different areas are connected

• Building a more complete relationship with your body as a whole

Now for the ringleader of it ALL…

Your Beautiful Brain & Nervous System are Running the Show

Image Credit: VectorMine / Shutterstock.com

I’d like to talk about something that might shift everything for you:

Remember when I told you that there was another part of you that was running the show and your relationship with pleasure? Well, your pleasure doesn’t start in your vulva. It actually starts in your brain.

There are a few key players here:

• The limbic system =  your emotional center (this is where desire, safety, and memory live)

• The hypothalamus = helps regulate hormones and sexual response

• The amygdala = processes fear and safety (and yes, this definitely affects pleasure)

• The prefrontal cortex = your thinking mind (aka the overthinking that can block pleasure)

Studies published by the National Institutes of Health show that sexual arousal involves a full brain-body response, not just physical stimulation which is something many people were NOT taught.

This often leaves a lot of us feeling shameful or like there’s something wrong with our bodies when in reality, there may just be a disconnection within our bodies.

This means:

• If you feel stressed → your body may not respond

• If you feel safe → your body is more open

• If you feel disconnected → pleasure can feel harder to access

So when you’ve ever thought,“Why can’t I just relax?”

It’s not random and you’re far from “broken”, your brain is literally involved in that experience and is trying to send you signals that something needs some TLC.

The Connection Between Your Brain & Your Vulva

Your wonderful brain and your vivacious vulva are in constant communication through the nervous system.

Nerves like the pudendal nerve (although we hate this word because it basically means SHAME in latin) sends signals between your genitals and your brain, allowing sensation, arousal, and pleasure to happen.

But here’s the deeper part:

Your brain interprets those sensations.

So it’s not just about touch! it’s about:

• What you believe

• What you’ve experienced

• How safe you feel

• How present you are

Research from the Kinsey Institute highlights that arousal is influenced by both physical stimulation and psychological context.

Meaning: Your thoughts, emotions, and environment all shape how your body responds.

Again the book “Come As You Are” explains this quite eloquently and has photos and everything (if you’re a visual learner like me!)

Your Body Is One Connected System

When we’re exploring ourselves and our relationship with pleasure it’s important for us to remember that our body is a fully connected system.

That’s why:

• Your breath can shift your sensation

• Your thoughts can increase or decrease arousal

• Your emotions can either open or close your body

• Your skin, nipples, neck, and even feet can be connected (or disconnected) to pleasure

A well-known study by Rutgers University using brain imaging found that multiple areas of the brain light up during stimulation of different body parts including the genitals, nipples, and beyond.

Your body is literally wired for pleasure, it’s just society that drowns it out with a constant bashing of fear, messages of unworthiness, worry, anxiety, depression, the list goes ON AND FREAKING ON!

So What Does This Mean For You?

It means your pleasure isn’t just physical. It’s mental, emotional, and embodied (you’re going to hear this word a lot in my writings.)

It means:

• Learning your anatomy matters

• Feeling safe in your body matters

• Slowing down matters

• Being present and intentional matters

And this is basically the way we want to live our lives as a whole right? Educated, feeling safe, slowing down and being present.

Most importantly, if this hasn’t been clarified, nothing and I mean absolutely nothing is “wrong” with you if you’re still figuring it out.

You’re not broken. You’re just learning a language you were never taught and now you get to learn it on your own terms.

There are soooooo many other wonderful parts of us to explore but for the sake of not overwhelming, I’ll stop here for now.

So, how do you feel? Has the pressure been taken off? Do you feel a bit more compassion for yourself?

It’s SO empowering to learn the ins and outs of our own bodies. Unlearning what we’ve been taught in the past can feel a little intimidating sometimes but it doesn’t have to be as scary as we make it. I am so beyond proud of you for taking the leap and doing the work my love.

If all of this is making you curious (or even a little tingly), I invite you to dive deeper with me inside my Pleasure Library. It’s a cozy online sanctuary that I created just for women like you. It’s a sacred, playful space filled with videos, guided audios, and practical tools to help you explore breathwork, expand your pleasure, and reconnect with your body on a whole new level.

Think of The Oasis as your personal treasure chest for pleasure, where science meets sensuality.

I love you to the moon 

Love & Lube

Love Atiya

Founder Of The Ethereal Pleasure Oasis

The Anatomy Of Your Vulva & Friends