Celibacy vs. Abstinence: The Annoying Difference

I’m Not Having Sex Right Now, And It’s AMAZING

Hello, my loves!

Let's just get right to it because I know you see the title. I'm not having sex right now. Period. Full stop.

Call that what you want. Celibate, abstinent, sexless, all I know is that I’m not having it, and it's absolutely by choice. 

First let’s just quickly calm the people who are having whole panic attacks because of the misuse of the word celibacy.

Celibacy vs. Abstinence: The Annoying Difference 

Abstinence = Voluntarily refraining from some or all forms of sexual activity.

This is when you are intentionally taking a break from sex. It's usually a temporary thing, for a specific reason (like a breakup, healing, or a personal challenge), and can be easily reversed. It’s a pause button.

Celibacy = Historically and religiously, it means a vow to remain unmarried and abstain from sexual relations, usually for spiritual reasons.

This has all the religious baggage tied to it. It often implies a long-term or permanent commitment, sometimes even the "no self pleasure" kind. It feels like a lifestyle commitment, not just a break.

The Religious BS: Honestly, both terms are often policed and weaponized by religious institutions to imply that your body and your sexuality are inherently "dirty" and are only worthy of pleasure if you're holding out for marriage.

I say: FUCK THAT.

The bottom line is this: If you're not having sex, you're not having sex. Call it a break, call it freedom, call it what feels good for you. Don't let a word or a church tell you what your power move is. I’m currently just in my Pleasure Era, and a sex break is just part of the journey.

My Pleasure Era: Beyond the Bedroom

When I talk about pleasure, I absolutely do not mean sex per se. I mean the kind of joy you feel when you create, the kind of pleasure you feel when you dance or work out, the kind of sensations you feel when you have healthy and positive people around you pouring into you.

• If you are looking for pleasure tips in the form of masturbation or playing with a partner, then you have come to the right place.

• If you’re looking for pleasure tips that can contribute to your healing, then you have also come to the right place.

I want us to get connected into our bodies, and if you’re already connected, then I'd love to help you form an even DEEPER connection.

Tips For A Sex-Break 

If you’re currently on a sex break (for any reason including: healing, resting, or just flowing), here are three things you can do to keep that pleasure energy flowing:

1. Date Yourself & Go IN: Take yourself out. Get dressed up for you. Try that fancy restaurant. Spend the money on that beautiful thing you want. You are your main character, and the best way to get ready for a healthy partner is to learn how to be one to yourself.

2. Touch Without Intention: Sex isn’t the only time you get to feel amazing. Give yourself a foot massage, use a beautiful smelling vegan body oil after your shower, or even try some sensual stretching with music that makes you feel good. Focus on sensations and comfort, not climax. It’s all about reminding your body that it is a temple of pleasure, regardless of what's happening (or not happening) sexually.

3. Journal Your Desires: Write down everything you are craving right now, not just sexually, but emotionally, spiritually, and professionally. A break from sex frees up a TON of energy and time. Direct that energy onto the page. What does your dream life look like? Get detailed and then pour your energy into your manifestation/surrender.

4. Defining Your "Why" and Creating Your Boundaries: 

Prompt: What does a successful "sex pause" look and feel like for you, and how will you protect it?

• Fill in the blank: "I will know this sex pause was successful when I have (Action/Feeling) and am no longer bothered by (Old Trigger/Insecurity)."

• Write down your "Boundary Blueprint": What are the social situations, apps, or even people you need to step away from or limit contact with to honor this break? Be brutally honest about the people/places that are a distraction.

• Imagine the break is over. What are the top three lessons you must carry forward into your next sexual experience so that it feels healthy, authentic, and honoring of your body?

Solo Date Ideas

What are some fun date night ideas or day date ideas you can create for yourself? Make a list!

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I literally plan on getting dressed up and taking myself out on a date tonight. Decentering dating has helped me recenter myself and reconnect with my actual desires. I used to have SO much fun being alone and then my psyche got obsessed with trying to find someone to love me, whole time, I just needed to love myself fully and intentionally.

Now, I love myself so much it would take A LOT to allow someone to enjoy me because I’ve set a very high and beautiful standard for me, my time, my energy and my pleasure.

Cheers to you and to all of the self loving intentions you’ve made within this lifetime. I couldn’t be more proud of you and all that you are.

If all of this is making you curious (or even a little tingly), I invite you to dive deeper with me inside my Pleasure Library. It’s a cozy online sanctuary that I created just for women like you. It’s a sacred, playful space filled with videos, guided audios, and practical tools to help you explore breathwork, expand your pleasure, and reconnect with your body on a whole new level.

Think of it as your personal treasure chest for pleasure, where science meets sensuality

Ready to explore? Come join the Pleasure Library and let’s breathe, play and feel pleasure together.

I love you to the moon 

Love & Lube

Love Atiya

Founder Of The Ethereal Pleasure Oasis

Celibacy vs. Abstinence: The Annoying Difference