When He's "Not Ready For A Relationship"

written September 2016

89 reasons why i'm single Reason #2

BACKSTORY: (You can skip this part if you’ve already read Reason #1)

It is no mystery, I haven’t tried to hide it, I’ve actually made it VERY known…….that I’ve been single………for 21 (going on 22) years of my life.

After 22 years of learning to love myself in a world where people try to make it so hard for you to do just that (love yourself) I’ve finally found divinity in my singleness.

Late at night, in the early afternoon and on Mondays at 6:45 pm, I always reflect on my love life.

Lately, while searching for my inner peace, I’ve realized that for a very long time I placed the blame for my singleness on others!

Yes, men are 95% to blame but society is the other 5%…. Totally kidding, I’ll take the blame for the other 5%.

Usually when I’m getting to know someone the 8th thing I’m asked is “Why are you still single?”

I decided to list some reasons. Now when my future bae texts me and asks me that, I can simply send him the link to this blog. LMAO I’ll probably have to add that as the 90th reason I’m still single.

Anyways Let’s Continue On With This List!

2. The guy I like doesn’t want a relationship right now:

If I had a dime for every time I heard the “I don’t want a relationship” line, I’d be rich.

If I had a penny for every time I heard that line and then a month into us talking the guy posts a picture of him and another girl cuddling on his instagram page, I’d be a millionaire.

That’s why you didn’t want to be in a relationship with me!! IT’S BECAUSE YOU WERE ALREADY IN ONE!!!!

Seriously! It happens more than you think and the young man usually initiates OUR communication with each other… aka he slid in my DM’s first, not the other way around.

I truly wish that someone would just be honest and say “I don’t want to be in a relationship WITH YOU” believe it or not, although it may hurt my feelings for 2.2 seconds (depending on how it’s said and how high my self esteem is at the time) it would still sting less and I’d waste so much less time!

That’s it though. You just have to say that one simple sentence. I don’t need a list of all the reasons you can’t see yourself being in a relationship with me. Back in the day I would’ve wanted those things…but now I know that I’m divine and you’re just missing out…you poor thing!

The second most popular excuse I hear is “I’m not ready to be in a relationship because I’ve been hurt before”

Has anyone seen the violin I left hanging around to play during sob stories like this one?

I’ve FINALLY learned, when you hear that…RUN!

Back in the day I would think “Oh that’s okay! He must want a friendship! I’m down with that! I love having male friends, less drama, he can give me advice…” blah blah effing blah

But in reality it’s one of two things:

1. It’s an excuse. He doesn’t see you as someone HE can personally settle down with but you’re dope af and you’re really nice so he’ll just keep you around and charm you, string you along until you’ve caught the feelings you’ve tried so hard not to catch and then he’ll rip your heart from your chest, spit on it and slam it to the ground. Then he’ll make it seem like YOU’RE the crazy one………..or

2. He really is scared. Commitment is scary as hell. Being committed to the right person is actually even scarier.

The possibility of being hurt, by anyone in general can be a bit fear provoking as well.

But who wants to be in love with someone who is afraid?

Which leads to the 3rd reason why I’m single.

I was going to add it as a continuation to this blog, but it would’ve been too damn long so check it out whenever you have the time.

Thanks for reading!

Your soul is beautiful!

Xoxo love atiya

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