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BLOG 105: HOW CELIBACY SAVED ME FROM STD’s & MY 2023 SELF LOVE GOALS

I kinda get why people don’t like setting boundaries. Because once a boundary is set you really have to hold yourself and others accountable and who the hell feels like doing that?

My therapist had me write out a list of friendships that I’ve ended and a list of people who have ended friendships with me.

On the list of friendships that I’ve ended, all of those friendships ended for the same exact reason. Boundaries.

I most likely started out in these relationships as a people pleasing chameleon and transformed like a butterfly right in front of their eyes.

Now that I think of it, I think these friendships also ended because I had major internal glow ups but that’s neither here nor there.

The same goes for my sexual partners.

The most boundaries I began to set for myself sexually the less sexual partners I had.

One of the most eye opening parts of my celibacy was how much of a fight it was to try to get my potential partners to go get tested for STD’s and STI’s.

In 2021 I had ONE partner who was willing to get tested although he claimed his busy schedule delayed him, he actually did it and that’s what mattered. He also cared about my sexual health which was a major turn on.

Before him, there was my ex, who lied about getting tested but luckily I’d been tested before and knew his story was BS. Although I should’ve just broken up with him then (god I had so many of these moments) he did eventually get tested or at least had a test to show me.

Which was “big” considering the first time I asked him to get tested he told me his girlfriend at the time had just gotten tested and she was good. Long story, we’ll touch on that eventually.

Otherwise I learned that if you want to scare a guy away or have him leave you alone forever, just ask him to get tested. This has never failed me and they’ll usually leave me alone within 3-7 business days.

It’s disgusting to think that I once trusted men because of their WORD and their promise that the last time they got tested (whenever that happened to be) they were “good.”

There’s also a lack of knowledge when it comes to what kinds of tests to take and what to get tested for.

So many guys and girls get tested when they think they could have something, instead of doing preventative work.

Did you get tested for oral and genital herpes? How about oral and genital gonorrhea? Do you know the signs and the symptoms? Do you know which STD’s have little to no symptoms?

It’s all so important and I’m hoping I can use my platform to help educate us on this matter.

All in all I say this to say I am so grateful for my celibacy journey for keeping me focused.

I began this year off making rash unhealthy decisions and working on other peoples times and trying to heal other peoples desires.

I was never one to have a lot of sexual regrets but I literally started off this year with one of my biggest sexual regrets yet.

I also appreciate those regrets because I never want to feel physically gross the way I did after having this one encounter last January.

P.s. just because you get tested, it doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you.

Celibacy taught me that I truly can wait and the longer the wait the better the satisfaction.

I’m also super grateful for the lack of pregnancy scares as well. Especially as someone who has a pretty irregular cycle, it got scary at times.

I don’t know what 2023 holds for me sexually but I do know that I’m not going to torture myself with anymore half ass, lackluster, careless sexual experiences.

It just hits different when you find your worth.

I don’t feel tainted from my previous experiences and I really had to find the lesson and reasons to be grateful for them.

In 2023 I’m treating my body like the true temple it is. I’m going to worship me like never before and set the standard for the kind of love I desire by giving it to myself.

Ways I’m going to love myself more in 2023: